The Gritters Golf Society

 

Tour Members

Honorary Gritters

Breaking  News

Tippy's

Top Tips

 

Porky's Problem Page

Fans of Short Stuff Home Page

Gritters Competitions

Gritters Poetry

Old Stuff

Gritters Personality Test.

Previous Winners

Feedback

Course Reviews

Tour Statistics & Records

Why are we called The Gritters

The Rules

Favourite Links

Gritters Home page

 

 

Darrell Fone                                 Back to Tour List

Darrel is generally quite the gentle silent type, although the intake of red wine changes this situation according to the following formula. Students of mathematics will note that this is a function of a function and that as both G and T increase over time and N increases towards infinity then the propensity of the integral of dG over dT to disregard the quantities of both B and W will tend to increase the volume of S towards quite a lot.

FOR TOP TIP No.47 CLICK ONTO DARRELL'S PICTURE >>>>>>

 

To see Darrell's swing in slow motion, click onto the formula chart below

 

 

The formula above is derived using the symbols below:

g       =  the number of other golfers present

t        =  time elapsed since first drink

b       =  the amount of bread eaten

w      =  the volume of water drunk

%a    =  the percentage proof of the red wine

R(w) =  the volume of red wine consumed

n       =  number of post dinner brandies

(g.t)   =  number of pre dinner gin and tonics

S       =  the amount of sick on the carpet

 

Data gathered from the Splinter Group Breakaway Scotland trip in 1995 resulted in the chart shown opposite:

 

 

Handicap

11

Tours Attended:

Two

Tour Wins

None

Hall of Shame

None

2009 Form

By his own admission, 2008 was something of a roller coaster year on the golf course with some highs but mostly lows. The swing tends to be a little on the flat side but then again that does generate a fair amount of distance. When it gets too flat Darrell hits an intermittent rapid snap hook. This has been the undoing of many a good round. Should Darrell happen to be playing particularly well one day, it is always good to encourage him with a remark such as "I say Darrell, you're playing particularly well today, no sign of the snap hook at all".

The tour started poorly with 27 points but then there were three 33's on the bounce. The following day's 31 points gave no hint of what was to come. A truly magnificent 42 points at Val Andre was inspired golf. The 27 at Clecy was disappointing and probably cost him the title. The closing 32 though put his score up to 26 under and equal first. Sadly, we have to have a winner and, as with tradition, this is done on the arbitrary back nine countback and Darrell finished second. A great effort.

 
 

2010 Outlook

 

 

 

For Darrell, the glass is always half full, and he was expected to finish halfway. If he plays like he did at Val Andre, he could win.

Napster Forecast:

Should show well for the first few rounds but the new courses and the late nights may prove to much in the end. Napster predicts a top half finish, maybe even top three.
AnagramFallen order (shouldn't that be fallen over?)

Star Sign

Tufted Wilton

Bad Habits

Once owned a Fiat.

Redeeming Features

Turns up, pays his whack, joins in, Darrell is an excellent and worthy addition to the tour.

Catchphrase

Don't worry, I'll pay for the carpet.
Contents of Golf BagSlippers, car rug, thermos flask and a good book ready for an early night