Darrel is generally quite the gentle silent type, although the intake of red wine changes this situation according to the following formula. Students of mathematics will note that this is a function of a function and that as both G and T increase over time and N increases towards infinity then the propensity of the integral of dG over dT to disregard the quantities of both B and W will tend to increase the volume of S towards quite a lot.

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To see Darrell's swing in slow motion, click onto the formula chart below

g       =  the number of other golfers present

t        =  time elapsed since first drink

b       =  the amount of bread eaten

w      =  the volume of water drunk

%a    =  the percentage proof of the red wine

R(w) =  the volume of red wine consumed

n       =  number of post dinner brandies

(g.t)   =  number of pre dinner gin and tonics

S       =  the amount of sick on the carpet

Data gathered from the Splinter Group Breakaway Scotland trip in 1995 resulted in the chart shown opposite:

The tour started well with 35 and 36 points. 33 at Dinard was followed by the low point, a 26 Val Andre (where last year he shot 42).

2011 Outlook