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We welcome all of your comments and suggestions about our web site.

Please contact us if you would like some advice about a trip you are planning or more information about golf courses or the competition formats that we play or if you just have something amusing to say. All of your comments are read and the best ones are posted below. Most of them are genuine but we sneaked a few fun ones in - see if you can spot them.

Click on the link below to send an email to:

Clarkie  or if that doesn't work............. send it to Here is some feedback                               We look forward to hearing from you

Name / Location Comments




We are twelve ladies who have escaped to play golf. We need some advice. One of our number has absolutely no fashion sense at all and insists upon wearing check trousers all the time. She then insisted that we all wear pink one day (see Honorary Gritters page)

How can we tell her?

Response: We agree, offering fashion advice to friends is often a dangerous and ill advised activity.

Send us the photo and we will put it on the site.

That should do it. By the way, you have our sympathy. One of our number once bought a pink jumper with flowers on it, - can you believe it !!! he claims that it was a post modern ironic statement.


Another insists upon wearing pink trousers. He just thinks that he is a fashion icon.





Dear Mr. Clarke
I was reading the tee to green magazine as i do on a regular basis and came across your society photo, you look like a lively lot and one would think you have a lot of fun.
To my amazement the larger gentleman in the photo wearing blue is sticking 2 fingers up. I was shocked and appalled by this I have e mailed the head office of the magazine and told friends of this outrageous behaviour!!

 I will do my up most best to stop this happening again! I am going to e mail various club to tell them about this yobbishness, and not to let them on there courses.
Simon johnny Dune
Royal London Golf Club

Dear Simon
 Thank you so much for your kind comments about our society. We are indeed a "lively lot" as you so eloquently put it.
 On the subject of the gentleman in the centre of the photo with two fingers up. The photo was taken at West Surrey golf club where he is a senior member. We were guests of his that day. Let me assure you that the chap in question is a person of the highest moral probity and a pillar of the local community.
 Upon investigation, it turns out that, whilst the photo was being taken, he was merely indicating to a nearby waiter that he would like two more glasses of beer and not attempting to make a rude gesture.
 None of our society would ever dream of making rude gestures whilst photographs were being taken, such behaviour would be beneath us and would serve only to completely demean the  whole spirit of our society and its associated traditions and proud history. I would like to point out that in our group are 3 ex Captains of their courses, one a respected surgeon and a lay priest. Admittedly we do have one member who used to be a plumber, but even he manages to behave himself (remembering which knife and fork to use and so on).
 I can only apologise if the photograph in question managed to convey offense, it certainly was not intentional.
 I hope that you find this response satisfactory and that we have allayed your fears.
 What are our chances of coming to play at Royal London Golf Club?
Kind Regards
The Gritters


the bread van driver,


Je conduisais un fourgon de pain. Vous pouvez imaginer ma grande surprise quand j'ai frappe par une balle du golf!!!!!

Quelle surprise !!! Elle a fait beacoup de dommages a ma peinture blanche. Vous me devez 150 francs! 

Ainsi, j'avais projeté jouer le golf avec mes amis que l'après-midi, mais moi souffrait du choc. Ainsi je suis allé à la maison. Imaginez maintenant mon autre surprise quand j'ai trouvé mon épouse dans le lit avec son amoureux. Il y avait un grands arguement et elle encore je. La compagnie de pain m'a mise le feu et tellement maintenant, beaucoup d'ans après, ici je suis sans le travail, aucune épouse et toutes parce que Simon a frappé sa boule de golf à mon fourgon de pain.

P.S. Avez-vous fait des quatre par ?

Tony Pottle,


J'irai à la base de mes escaliers

Dull person with nothing better to do, Southend on sea

Did you know that an anagram of the gritters golf society is



Coral Lover, Walmley

I recently discovered some Coral at the bottom of my garden, what should I do?

Response: Under no circumstances go anywhere near it, Coral is highly dangerous. Get professional help.

Mike Brown, French Connection Golf Society, Berks

We have been doing the same as you guys for ten years now in the same places and at much the same time of year. Like the web site and think we might set one up too. If we are there at the same time why not meet up for a drink and some golf?

Note: In fact we did meet up at Freslonnierre, nice guys, four of them went on to form a barber shop quartet singing group and are now Honorary Gritters.

Simon Sugarman1, Leeds

Excellent site, we do a similar tour every year in April and are planning to get our own site soon. One day we should have a match between all the groups that do this?

Gritters Response: Yawn yawn, yeah, whatever, fix it up


West Flange

Fantastic site, I laughed aloud several times, this has definitely helped us with the organisation of our own trips. Thanks for sending us your competition details, we tried out the 3 from 6 format and it works really well.

Pierre, Val Andre

Playing my local course recently I sliced my drive at the 12th hole. I have two questions. First, I found your towel, can I keep it? Second, do I get a free drop?

p.s. the rhododendron bush is doing really well.

Kevin, S E London

I laughed until I cried, and then I laughed some more. This is all so very true. Loved the handy hints. Desperate to read Chapter Two of Short Stuff's life story, when is it going to come out?

Gritters Response: Haven't written it yet, but watch this space

Jag Elska Storpit, Sweden

Hello from Sweden all of you Golfing Gritters men. And a very special hello to the quite cute though fat one called Short Stuff. We all adore him so much and we request that you have a special "Fans of Short Stuff" page on your web site?

Gritters notes: In response to this and many other emails on a similar theme, please now refer to the dedicated Fans of Short Stuff page

Gail and Gwen,


We own a launderette too !!!! Can we be honorary Gritters and can we have our bike back?

An honorary Gritters section is now published, further applications are welcome

Tarquin Muddled,

West Thermia

You should come and play here one year, we have some great courses and you can go para gliding in the afternoons.

Stan and the Ex Pats crowd, NY State

You guys sure know how to go the whole nine yards! Sounds like a lot of fun, thanks for the competition info, we shall be using it on our trip to South Carolina.

R. U.  Gullible

Dearly Beloved, I have got $100 million US dollars that I would like to share with you all. Please send me your name and address, bank account details together with pin numbers, your mother's maiden name, your golf handicap and any other personal information you can think of. Then, for no readily apparent reason, I will send you millions of dollars.

Sue, Queensland

There are 12 of us that have a similar thing every year over here, thanks for sending us the Eclectic golf rules, made our trip much better.

Golden Lady, Unknown

My husband is in the next room and wants to know what I am laughing about. He will never know.

Awesome web site, may steal some of your ideas.

Gritters Response: Please feel free, our ideas are your ideas.

Ron, Essex

We had never played there and had got conflicting advice and so didn't know whether to risk a game at Freslonnierre or not. Your pictures and write up  tipped the balance, we had a great time, thanks a lot

Amante del Pene Tiesos

We are numbering 8 Spanish girls who love to play the golf in the hot weathers. We enjoy particularly the adventures of the one you call "Short Stuff". Is it possible for us to have a poster or perhaps a signed photograph of him for us to put up on our locker room wall?

Response:  Short Stuff dedicated page

Graham, Newbury

How do I become a Gritter? I think I might qualify as I have to be woken up to play most of my shots too. 

Response: apply for Honorary Grittership

Alan, Swindon

I have passed this link around all my friends, wonderful, wish I'd thought of it

Paul, Oxford

You were right, Brittany Ferries were really good and the course reviews were very helpful, thanks a lot, great site.

Danny, Bristol

We stayed in L'Univers too ! Excellent. David and Stefan send their regards.

Johnny Waiter, St Malo ferry

I recently found a battered old brown wallet with just over 200 euros in it. I think it just might be the Lost kitty. What shall I do with it?

Response: Spend it wisely



Ian Clarke
Copyright © 2006 Gritters Golf Society. All rights reserved.
Revised: January 11, 2013 .