The Gritters Golf Society
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| Here at the Gritters we are big fans of poetry, examples of our work can be found below See Gritters Singing and the 2008 video of More Gritters Singing // Poetry // Songs // Recommended Reading list Haiku Poetry For those of you who are not familiar with Haiku, it is a Japanese poetic art form but with some very strict rules about construction. Note: many claim that this is a firm rule and that the poems themselves are better when this form is adhered to as it forces a construction from the poet but this strictness is not in fact supported by history or translations from Japanese poems. see www.haikuhut.com for more information Examples of Gritters Haiku appear below: Here at the Gritters, we open doors to new friends, now our cat is gone.
Your drive was so big. It might be very useful. But the ball is gone.
Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Putters are like that.
Stay the patient course. Your ball is gone forever. Your ire has no worth.
You are four feet short. You put aside bad thoughts. You three stab again.
Voice of reason speaks. Lets have one more beer in here. You have more beer here.
Playing the short third, eyes meet heads nod walk to hedge, both take a long piss.
I can eat five mars. We bet you can't eat five mars. You cough up your cash.
Drive the wrong way home. I know the way back from here. Sleep in someone's bath.
Wait for friends in bar They all go for a kebab Lots of shit since then Please send in your Haiku poems and we will publish them. ========================================================== The Ballad of Short Stuff. (Sung to the tune of the McCartney classic "Yesterday") Yesterday, all my underwear was clean and grey, Now it looks like they are old and stained, Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, my breakfast and my lunch went right through me I followed through, a smell surrounded me How I need a lavatory
Why, I, had to go, I don't know I strained my bowels I, have, made a pong, Now I long, for paper towels
Scrambled eggs, bacon, mushrooms and a large baguette That extra sausage I do now regret That was a time that I can't forget.
Why, I, had to go, I don't know, Too much food and beer. I've done, something wrong, Bet the bush does well next year.....
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be All that food has fallen out of me And all my pals just laughed with glee. I believe in yesterday, I followed through at Val Andre
Limericks - inspired by ISIHAC, making up limericks in the bar. here are some examples: There once was a Gritter called Tippy Who found the steps in the harbour quite slippy He fell into the brine, Cos he'd had too much wine And emerged none the worse but quite drippy
There was once a Gritter called Cash Who enjoyed being out on the lash He prefers first to dine, With expensive red wine And then go home to his cheap Turkish Hash.
The Gritter known best as Short Stuff Put his drive in some very long rough "You bastards", he cried, When his free drop was denied So instead he f***ed off in a huff and.......... There once was a Gritter called Shorts Who loved singing and wines of all sorts He enjoys his fast cars, and speed eating 6 Mars And his scorecard is covered in noughts Now... You too can enter the Gritters Challenge: The first line of a limerick appears below. You finish it and we will publish the best. There once was a Gritter called Cock............. With a dislexic girlfriend called Jock he said pretty please and she went down on her knees and then she cooked his sock
Gritters Recommended reading....... Five Go For a Kebab Little Kebab house on the Prairie Uncle Tom's Kebab cabin The Old Curiousity Kebab Shop A tale of two kebabs Kebabs are not the only fruit |