The Gritters Golf Society
The Gritters Golf Society |
Why are we called The Gritters Gritters Home page
|
After much squabbling.......
These are the rules for the competitions that will take place on the 2008 tour: We will play an individual stableford every day with cash prizes down to fifth place. There will be eight rounds of golf in total including a curtain raiser to be arranged three weeks before we go.
We shall play seven rounds of golf in France and the main event this year will be a "Five from Eight to Count" eclectic competition.
This means that each player, over the course of the tour, will have Eight attempts at the first hole. Five of these will count on the master score sheet. Eight attempts at the second, five of which will count and so on. 2 stableford points are scored for a par, so the par for each hole is 10 points and the par for the whole course is 180 points.
Note: All of the necessary documentation is available. It is free, just send us an email and we will send it to you.
Side competitions: Given that we shall be playing in fours, there will be a team event each day where the best two scores from four will count, the best team and the second team will get some cash from the kitty.
in addition there will be prizes for the Best Par Threes total for the week, Best Par Fives total, most consecutive holes played without a blob and best total on the 18th hole
(See Tour Statistics and records and Previous Winners sections)
The Rules: All parties and players be they of the first or second parts are bound by and subject to the following the following. Be they notwithstanding any abrupt or sudden variation, modification or other alteration either in part or in whole as may be determined providing that it is completely convenient from time to time with absolutely no notice or consultation by the committee who, being of one association, shall have nominated themselves to office and therefore naturally not be subject to any electoral procedure or other accountability, these are:
The Rules for the 2008Tour 1. Each Round. Each full 18 hole game will be played as an individual stableford with prizes down to fifth place each day. In addition there will be a "two from four to count" team prize each day. Should a particular round need to be abandoned due to the inclemency of the weather or more than half of the players involved being arrested, then a whole new set of procedures will come into force - see below. The winner and other places will be determined by the players who achieve the highest number of points on that day. If the points are equal then the money prize is shared although the order recorded onto the master score sheets will be determined by better back nine, back six, back three and how argumentative you are.
If the team event is a tie then the money is shared.
3. The Eclectic. The eclectic scores will be taken from FIVE of the EIGHT rounds played.
The prizes will be down to fifth place. In the event of a tie for the winning spot in the Final Eclectic (which has happened quite a few times now) then the money is shared but the title itself and the subsequent award of the trophy, shall be decided by the better back nine, then back six, back three and back final hole. In the unlikely event of this still being equal, then a "sudden death" scenario is invoked whereby each players best score, starting at the first hole, is taken in turn. The first player to go ahead wins. If this is still a tie, then we shall take the total points scored for all eight rounds.
4. Handicap Adjustments. There are two established methods available for Handicap adjustments
Method One
a) The buffer zone for handicap change is 31 to 36 points inclusive. b) A score of anything between 31 and 36 inclusive will mean no change to the handicap the following day. c) A score of less than 31 points will result in a handicap adjustment upwards by 0.1 for each point below 31. d) The adjustment is subject to a maximum rise for the next day of one shot. Example: Players exact handicap is 12.4. Playing handicap = 12. He shoots a pathetic 18 points around Dinard. (Note that this is just an example and that no resemblance to any real person either alive or dead including Chris Roach is intended or should be inferred) The adjustment is buffer of 31 less the score of 18 = 13. (13 x 0.1 = 1.3). But, because the playing handicap rise each day is capped at 1, this is now limited to the highest possible amount that permits a playing handicap of 13. i.e the adjustment gives this player a new exact handicap of 13.4. e) A score of 17 points or less will always result in hoots of derision from the others. f) The adjustment is also subject to a maximum rise of no more than four shots from its starting point over the duration of the tour and a maximum handicap of 24 at any time. g) A score of 37 points or greater will result in If your handicap has not increased then a score of 37 points or greater will result in a handicap adjustment downwards by 0.1 for each point in excess of 36 with no limits in this direction.
Method Two
a) The winner (and those players tied for the winning score) each day is docked ONE SHOT for the following round. This shot is then returned to them. Note that if a player wins two days in a row he is still only docked the one shot. Example: Player A has a handicap of 10. He wins the first days play with a score of 35 points. The next day he must play off a handicap of 9. Assuming he does not win again he is back to 10 for the third round. If, when he is playing off 9 on the second day, he wins again then, he must play off 9 again for the third round. (i.e. his shot was returned to him but he was then docked a shot for winning)
b) The player finishing in last place (and those tied for last) each day are given one shot back for the following round. Note that if a player finishes last again the next day he only still gets the benefit of the one shot.
Example: Player B plays off 16 and finishes last in the first round having achieved a paltry 23 points. He will now be playing off 17 for the second round. Assuming he does not finish last again, he will be back to 16 for the third round. If, when he was playing off 17 in the second round he manages to finish in last place again, then he will play round three with a handicap of 17. (i.e. his extra shot is taken away from him but he is then awarded an extra shot for finishing last.
FOR THE 2008 TOUR: METHOD TWO WILL BE IN OPERATION.
4. Other Competitions From time to time there may be additional side competitions such as, but not limited to, The Secret Partner Challenge, The Knock Up, Texas Scramble, The Dogging at Dinard Trophy and The Dinard Eight Hole Scamper. Any other ancillary competition played either during or immediately prior to the tour does not count for handicapping purposes. This includes practising putting or chipping before a round.
5. Prize Fund All players shall contribute equally to the prizes fund at breakfast on the first day even though some of them have no chance at all of winning anything. The amount to have been determined by numerous phone calls, special pleadings and other haggling in the weeks leading up to the tour.
6. Side Competitions Winners of the "side competitions" such as best par threes etc shall be deemed equal if the score is equal. There will be no artificial considerations to determine the winner and the money shall be shared. If a player has won a prize in the final eclectic (i.e. has finished in the top five) then he may only claim one of the other prizes. Otherwise, if he has been a complete buffoon, failed to trouble the scorer and finished in the dreaded bottom three, then up to two prizes may be claimed. (This is of course possible but highly unlikely). For the avoidance of any doubt there is a strict sequence for the awarding of the other prizes. This is because a player may have technically won more than one and so the default winner of another prize could be determined by which of the prizes is actually awarded. Therefore, the prizes shall be taken in strict order of best team Player, Best Par 3 total, Best Par 5 total, "nd place team plater, Best consecutive blobless holes, best total on the 18th. Equal scores will again mean that the prize is shared.
7. Best team Player. Each day each player will add his team score (from the 2 from 4 to count) to his position points. (1st = 10 points, 2 = 9 points.....10th = 1 point, 11th and 12 score zero). This amount is placed on the "Team Player Master Sheet" each day. At the end of eight rounds, the worst score is removed, the other seven added up and the player with the highest total is adjudged the Best Team Player
8. Booby Prize An exception to this is the pointless photograph awarded to the player achieving the most blobs over the total of the rounds played. This does not count as a prize in the strictest sense, and therefore anyone can win it. It is thus possible (as demonstrated by Cash Till) to win the competition, win the best par threes and still collect the photograph (The photograph must then be on permanent display in the winner's house) In the event of a tie, the unfortunate recipient will be that player who blobbed last.
9. Trophy a) In the unlikely event of there actually being anyone foolish enough to have purchased a trophy, then the winner shall hurl it overboard into the English Channel on the way home. He will then attempt to say a few words that no one will be interested in.
b) The winner each year should really buy a tacky trophy for the following year although this happens rarely.
10. Attendance It is fully understood by all participants that, should they elect not to attend on particular year, then there is no automatic right of re entry the following year. You will probably have to wait for some one to die.
11. Data protection waiver It is fully understood by all parties be they of the first or second parts that all names and addresses together with any list of personal preferences be they obtained in confidence or not and irrespective of whether they are rather grubby in nature and would rather be kept secret (such as a tendency to follow through when breaking wind, or a penchant for dressing up as a gay fireman) may be passed on to various marketing organisations at a profit. Such monies to be used as the committee sees fit provided that they are used in a cause compatible with the furtherance and promotion of Gritters Golf.
12. Unforeseen Situations In the event of a situation arising not covered by the rules that affects the entire group, such as abandonment due to bad weather, ferry strike, car malfunction, mass oversleeping, arrest or deportation or other event beyond our control, it is agreed that we play it by ear.
13. Missing a round Any individual player missing any round or electing to walk in after only a few holes for whatever reason can hazard a guess as to what would happen. Excuses such as "I am recovering from a broken arm, dislocated shoulder and severe concussion that I sustained whilst skiing last week, I have a severe hangover and am suffering from dehydration due to staying up until 2.00am drinking port and, because I just ate a massive breakfast, I urgently need a dump" will butter no parsnips with the committee.
14. Match Arrangements There will no fiddling with the match arrangements trying to engineer yourself into a four ball of your choice. There is a table of match arrangements that has been carefully drawn up using the fourth derivative of a complex statistical counter rotating spatial algorithm and other mathematical buggering around.
Each player will have a letter randomly allocated and the match arrangements for the following day will be drawn from the remaining choices from the table at dinner or nominated by the winner that day.
15. Hall of Shame Last place in the eclectic will become elected to the "Hall of Shame". More importantly though, he will be obliged to place a photograph of something decided upon through the year in his house for 12 months. This can be a photo of last years winner or loser, some grass cuttings, the back of a ferry, a field in France somewhere or something else. In the event of a tie the recipient will be decided by the worst back nine etc.
16. Behaviour of players on tour. After some debate the following are agreed a) it is acceptable for a tour member to own a bicycle called Jeanette b) it is not acceptable for any tour member to keep a dead badger in his hotel room though the temporary possession of live poultry is deemed to be okay providing it is released immediately upon discovery. c) it is acceptable for a tour member to go to sleep between shots but not on a putting green or in a hazard. d) it is acceptable for any tour member to upgrade his room without telling the others but not change his hotel. e) it is acceptable for a tour member to rush in after 16 holes for an urgent dump providing that he does not expect to go back out again and play the last two. An acceptable alternative solution is simply to shit yourself and claim an accidental follow through. In which case a small amount of time is permitted to clean yourself up and the round may be continued.
Suggestions for more rules are welcomed and each one received will be given due consideration. The more absurd the better.
|